I'm My Own Narrator....

I realized something today at work, sometimes I narrate my life.

Now, I am not speaking of talking to myself. I do that all the time. I have full conversations that can go on for quite awhile.

I am talking about "old time detective" movie style. It is rather hard to explain. I did it out loud on my last plane ride into a tape recorder. That was a rather interesting flight for the person sitting next to me. It started out something like, "It was a dark and stormy night when the young woman boarded the plane, unaware of what the touchdown of the plane would bring." It continues on in that same fashion.

I realize that this makes me strange, and maybe somewhat crazy but I'd actually really like to have a real narrator. It makes me think of that movie Stranger Than Fiction, except I really wouldn't want to know about an impending imminent demise.

I will just have to settle for being my own narrator until I can figure a way to get someone else to do it, preferably someone with a British accent.

When Life Gives You Lemons....

You make lemon bars!

It is amazing to me how soothing I find baking. Being in the kitchen makes everything else disappear for a brief moment in time. I think there is just something inspiring about preparing food, it tickles my creative side.

I find myself thinking about different flavor combinations I want to attempt. This wouldn't be such a big deal except, it keeps happening while I am supposed to be listening to someone speak or supposed to be doing something else. It does help me pass the time at work though, my job isn't very intellectually stimulating.

The weirder thing about my little baking obsession is that I don't usually consume the food that I make. I might have a bite of a dessert I made, (if it was the first attempt) but normally I just get a kick out of other people eating it. I like getting my brother's opinion because he will tell me straight up what he thinks of a dish. I love this about my brother. I may get annoyed with how many times he tells me how awesome he is, but honestly he really is awesome. Shhh, don't tell him that I admitted it.

Now, I know that I said that baking creates this "safe haven" for me but I must admit at the moment I am feeling a little pressure to perform. This anniversary cake I need to make has to be amazing, both in taste and appearance. I might have bitten off a bit more than I can chew. I also agreed to do the rest of the desserts, a balloon archway, a pathway of lights, the music and a fantastic appetizer.

I suppose that instead of continuing with this baking blog I should go execute that of which I write. I am off to make the cookie dough for the adorable anniversary cookies for my dessert bar, wish me luck.

Mother's Day

Mother's Day is coming up.

Now, it should be all about how great we think our moms' are, and how much we appreciate what they do. At least that is how I think the day should play out but in reality that is not how I approach the day of Mothers'.

Basically, each Mother's Day is a personal challenge on how good a gift I can find for my mom.

I don't like to brag (well maybe a little) but when it comes to my mom, I give some pretty phenomenal presents. Tapestries from Florence, mugs from Ireland, and margarita glasses from Mexico are just a few of my favorite gifts for my mom.

Unfortunately, I am hitting a wall on what to get her this year. From my previously stated presents, one can see that flowers and chocolate wont live up to the standards I set for myself. I usually have had my stroke of brilliance by now and know exactly what I want to get for my mom. I consider her my easiest person to shop for, which is why my lack of ingenious ideas is really irritating me.

I only have a few days left before the big day, perhaps I will just have to postpone giving her the gift until I can do it in person. This will give me both time for genius to strike and a valid excuse for its tardiness...

Classic Tale Retold

Everyone knows the classic tale

A lovely girl finds the beauty in a beast

But a tale lesser known begets more truth

Not the beauty found in a beast

But the beast hiding beneath the beauty

Perfection flows from her fingertips

Sweet voice lulls you into a vulnerable state

Her eyes ensnare you into her embrace

Blinded by her outward radiance

Unable to see the monster inside

Ache to graze her flawless skin

Selling yourself to her piece by piece

Before you realize her heart is black

She has taken everything from you

This is nothing to her vicious soul

Pleasured by the sight of your suffering

Teasing you with the promise of love

She knows she is incapable but you dont

Think you are trading life for love

Instead you give your life for her laugh

When she tires of you shell throw you back

Where once a proud man stood

A broken, scared lonely boy will lay

She remains unscathed and moves on

Her next victim just around the corner

Knowing hell be as easy as the last

Even though she is a savage beast

Her beauty is a perfect disguise

The saddest part of this tale it seems

No one has a chance to defend

If you know what to do its too late

For you have already felt the wrath of her beauty

Freedom

The freedom of expression
Binds us in our words
Free speech is rampant
Yet our words are censored
Say anything you please
Just make sure its politically correct
Throw out any profanity you want
But don't say "policeman"
That offends the feminists
Degrade your skin with racial slurs
But labeled racist if not that color
In this world of freedom
I can't help but feel trapped

Frilly Men

Tanning Bed Bursts Into Flames With Man Inside
I can't decide which is more disturbing, the fact that a tanning bed caught fire or that there was a man in the tanning bed in the first place. I know that many men do it, but for the life of me, I cannot figure out why. I find it incredibly disturbing that men pamper themselves and put in substantial effort into making themselves "beautiful."

Where have all the manly men gone?

There is nothing wrong with taking care of yourself, and dressing nice to impress the ladies but guys today take it too far. Honestly, guys don't need to tan, wax, pluck, and style for hours on end; why subject yourselves to such things? A guy can throw on a suit and look like a million bucks. It's that easy, why complicate it?

Last Name

I should have probably started my blogging career explaining the name of my blog, but I know that most people that know me will have already figured it out. My first entry I shared with you was about the trials and tribulations of having a drunken and deadly first name, but my last name is another story.

First of all, I have googled myself on numerous occasions. I know that you have all done it, so do not begin to judge me. Everyone I know has done it, and they all have people who claim the same identity. I already had enough identity issues as it was, I must admit that I was a bit nervous the first time I put my name into that little box of answers. To my surprise, and immediate relief(I didn't breathe for a good two minutes, my browser was dreadfully slow), I am the only Amber Kasbon. Obviously, there is nothing unique about my first name (other than beer and dinosaurs) but my last name has brought me great joy. There are not any other Kasbon's, save the six people in my family that now claim the name as their own.

This in and of itself is fantastic, but it is not why I take such simple pleasure in telling people my name. I have an avid imagination so pretending to be a British spy is right up my alley, whenever I meet someone new I give them the classic line: the name's Bon, Kasbon. It makes me laugh out loud just writing it. Who doesn't want to be James Bond? Aside from the casual sex, drinking and intermittent torture sessions, he is fantastic. I am a sucker for accents, class, and stlye, which he has in spades. When I use my introductory line, I like to invision myself as a total kick-butt secret agent and even if no one else can see it, it makes me smile just the same. Besides if no one suspects me as a British secret agent, I suppose I'd be doing a pretty good job if I was one.