"Wandering" and "Where I Was, You Now Are"

I wrote these poems awhile ago but they really capture how I feel right now.....

Wandering through this realm of emotions

Deciding which way holds clarity

Yearning to remember a time before you

Aching to forget everything you did to me

Contemplating cutting you off completely

Holding on to the friendship we shared

Questioning my decision to leave you

Wondering what made me even stay

Breaking down because love remains

Hating that you make me feel this way

Asking for just one day without tears

Crying because I feel so lost

Wishing that this would come to a close

Hoping I can finally find my way home

You couldn't handle being replaced

All of a sudden you act like you care

Pleading for my forgiveness and love

You request it but do not truly want it

Still believe I was the one in the wrong

Just cant handle my happiness

Perplexed by the smile on my face

Suddenly you decide I'm not invisible

I'm not hidden behind a wall of tears

I would have given you anything

That time has now passed

You gave up your right to me

Hope you'll benefit from your mistakes

Live and learn or you'll never keep love

You lost me and I'm never coming back

Life isn't always about second chances

Sorry it had to end this way

But you brought this pain upon yourself

I'm happy now and you're in tears

Seems like when we were together

Only it was my tears and your smiles then

Funny how life spins things around

Never thought we'd end up here

Expected me to take your abuse forever

Guess what I finally woke up to reality

Now I use the word love in the past tense

Pansy Pirates (short story)

They piloted a strange ship that seemed to hover over the water rather than cut through it. In most regards it was an ordinary ship, full of pirates and booty from the latest pillage. What made this ship stand out from the rest were the sails. Instead of white, the sails were a peculiar shade of pink. These weren't pansy pirates by any means. They were known as the most ruthless and bloodthirsty buccaneers that sailed the seven seas. Why then did they sail under soft feminine colors? All that beheld the ship or heard its tales wondered at the mysterious choice in color. No one dared ask for fear of the cruel retribution that was bound to be taken against them. A sailor once uttered "Pansy Pirates;" they cut out his tongue and shoved it down his throat.

This put an end to inquiry for many months until a new pirate, Algernon, joined the ranks. He did not insult them but merely said, "What made you choose pink sails? I've never seen such a color for sails on a ship before."

The crew laughed as if they were sharing a private joke.

"If you really want to know, go ask the Captain," said one of the crew. "He explains it best."

This had not been Algernon's intention at all. He was scared out of his knickers to see the Captain alone in his quarters. Algernon almost turned back when he got to the door but curiosity got the better of him. Before he could lose his nerve he rapped three times on the solid mahogany. Instantly the door opened and he found himself standing in the shadow of the Captain.

Despite feeling himself go weak in the knees Algernon managed to stammer, "C-can I ask you something?" The Captain stepped aside allowing him to enter. Before he knew what was happening he blurted out, "Why are the sails pink?"

The Captain stared at him and then chuckled. "Those pink sails have made this ship the most famous one to sail the seas. That fact alone might have made me keep them hoisted all this time. What started as a simple laundry error turned into the best private joke of all time."

Algernon was so confused, a laundry error? However, before he could voice his questions, the Captain continued.

"You see when the sails were being washed, one of the recently deceased from our latest rampages slipped into the water. His blood in the water dyed the sails in question pink. At first I was angry and embarrassed to be flying the pink sails, until one day the irony of it hit me. People were scoffing at me but little did they know they were laughing at the blood of their own. Now I have the sails washed in the blood of my enemies intentionally and look forward to the day when the truth gets out, when they all realize what they have been laughing at. We really are the most bloodthirsty pirates of all time, even our sails are tainted."

Flying

I still remember the first time I stepped on an airplane, I was absolutely terrified. I was too young to understand the physics and mechanics of it all, and I must say that even as an adult it still somewhat eludes me.
I know all the reasons a plane works, why it should stay in the air and how it is safer than driving in a car but that does not change my mindset. It boggles my mind that a huge chunk of a metal can stay up in the sky without crashing down to the unforgiving earth.
Now I am no stranger to flying, in fact, I thoroughly enjoy traveling by way of mechanical birds. I love the speed in which it gets me to my destination. I love being able to interact with colorful personalities, without having to deal with them cutting me off or flipping me the bird. I love being able to close my eyes without barreling into oncoming traffic.
There are many reasons why I would choose flying over driving, but they both have their advantages. For example, there is nothing I love more than driving down the road with the wind blowing through my hair, the radio cranked up and singing at the top of my lungs. It is an incredible feeling. It is almost like the rest of the world melts away, it is just you and the road. I feel safer in my car for some reason, I think it is because I feel like I am in control. In a plane, you relinquish control. The moment you set foot on that plane, you are putting your life into someones hands other than your own. That is truly terrifying, no matter what the circumstance.

It doesn't just apply to transportation, it also applies to matters of the heart. Anytime you relinquish control, it is a very scary thing. But honestly, what is life without a little danger? No risk, no reward. Think about that next time you are battling to keep control, sometimes you just have to let it go.